oh man, how often do i find myself comparing my life with someone else's. it's such a bad place to be. i think the blog world can sometime be this place for me. a place where i compare myself to other moms: crafty moms (wish i had the time or money to do what she does), artistic moms (wish i had her talent. she is such an amazing artist), homeschooling moms (does it mean i dont love my kids as much because i dont homeschool them), moms who love the lord (oh i wish i had the grace and peace this mom displays as she walks through trials), cool bloggers (wow they have a TON of followers), stylish moms (they have the coolest clothes and hair).
the lord himself goes before you and will be with you: he will never leave you or forsake you. do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. deueronomy 31:8
now dont get me wrong, there have been many times i feel blessed by reading another blog, there are so many talented christian moms out there with great blogs... the problem lies within myself, when i start comparing myself with them. when i become discontent with who and where i am, with what i have done.
cast all your anxiety on God because he cares for you. 1 peter 5:7
i know the Lord does not want me in the place, so i dig into the word and pray that the lord shows me what to change and what im doing ok with. so that i am right where he wants ME to be.
when i called, you answered me lord; you made me bold and stouthearted. psalm 138:3
i think i have been struggling with this more than usual as it has been back to school time and i read how SO many ladies are homeschooling now. many of my personal friends have decided to homeschool. i totally respect them and they have amazing families and smart, social, God loving children.... so then i feel guilty for not doing the same. i called mom the other day, just pouring my heart out to her, feeling like not a good mom because i sent my kids to school.... she had great words for me.... she said, "bon, do you feel like the lord is telling you to homeschool or are you comparing yourself?"
at this time in my life, i feel it is the lords will for our kids to go to school. now that a few days have passed and i have spent more time in prayer about it, i feel very confident in that decision...... the issue here in this post is not about homeschooling or not, it is about me learning to not compare myself to others and then feel discouraged by the comparison. it is about doing what the lord has planned out for me to do, and doing it with joy and peace and contentment.
do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. hebrews 10:35-36
so here i am slowly learning that each of us are different, given different talents, interests, and loves and my job as Bonnie Widmaier is to do those things that the lord has already built into me to bring him glory.
i hope that no one ever leaves my blog comparing themselves and feeling discouraged. believe me it is not all fun birthday cakes and crafts all the time here at our house. we are real, my kids disobey, i raise my voice to often, i spend to much time on the computer.... you get the point. the awesome thing is, is i dont have to be perfect and i dont have to do it on my own. that is the beauty of what my Lord has done for me. he shows me grace and forgiveness.
Lord forgive me for comparing myself. hold me right where you want me to be.
the lord tends his flock like a shepherd: he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. isaiah 40:11
7 comments:
hey bonnie! i am a friend of the baker family and drop by your blog every now and then.
i feel the same way about the blog world. i try to post about the ups AND downs on our blog (tantrums, mistakes, etc). but at the same time, i don't want to have a blog that is nothing but complaints because i don't feel that is of the Lord either. but then if you don't complain, it sends a false message that your life is nothing but unicorns and rainbows. it's so tough to accurately portray your whole life in a silly blog!
no mom does everything perfectly. i love doing crafts and photography, and i spend quality time with my kids. but we are ALWAYS behind on chores and i don't cook dinner every night.
anyway, your kids are precious and i loved all the summer learning activities you did. (i know that it helped you to have those plans just as much as it helped them. having a long day at home with kids with no plans is just miserable).
from one christian blogging mom to another: you are doing a GREAT job of loving the Lord and loving your kids!
Aww! Bonnie, I think you're amazing! You're such an inspiration to all of us girls who don't have families yet. Rachel and I have both been like, "I want to do things with my kids like Bonnie does when I'm a mom." Tehe!
Also, I think it's really wonderful that your kids are in public school. They are such awesome kids, and honestly, I bet there are a lot of kids that need friends like them! I think they are probably a huge blessing to the schools they attend! Really! I sometimes wish more Christian families kept their children in public schools (though I totally respect homeschooling too), because I feel like it is such an opportunity for Christian families to be a light.
Anyway, don't lose heart! I think you're so inspiring and encouraging!
This post has spoken to me. I can relate to what you are writing and I too, fall victim to the "comparing". Love following your family on here.
Bonnie,
I love your heart and sweet spirit for the Lord! Thank you for your openness and transparency in this post, mixed with such perfect Scriptures. I think comparison is something that all women deal with, but you are right: God has you doing exactly what you should be doing now! And you are doing a great job at it!!!!
Love you friend!
T
I struggle with the home-schooling thing too. Lots of my friends home-school. But I read something in a book once that talked about how kids in schools learn something that home-school kids don't get to experience as much and that is how to be a light for God IN THE WORLD. It's easy to follow God and do the right thing when kids are sheltered from the world, but learning how to do that when they encounter things that are not Godly gives you more teaching opportunities as their spriritual guide and makes them stronger in their walk with the Lord.
Excellent post, Bon. I think the reason I don't blog more often is because I either don't want to sound like I'm always complaining about how hard life is, OR posting something fun or beautiful, and worried that I'm portraying a false life...that it's all roses. Anyway, both are wrong, because I'm just worried about what other people think. :) I wish I felt free to post whatever my day was, and not worry about how others will perceive it. The problem is within me...all that to say that I understand your feelings.
What a world we live in...to be able to see inside the lives and homes of friends and strangers, and the feelings of pride, shame, and covetousness (as old as Eve) still rise up within us. So...here's to freedom, contentment, and peace. :) xoxo
This was rich and real. Hits home for most of us women, wives, moms, friends, sisters, daughters. Thanks for sharing your heart for so many. I'm writing the verse from hebrews for Kenzie.
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