I have written this post 100 times over in my head and the words are still hard to write. But it’s my story.
It’s different from the story I thought I would be telling you all this
year, but none the less, it’s my story and I am holding to the hope that God isn't done with my story yet, and I pray that He can still use
it.
As you can see, our picture has two less kids in it this
year. Our two foster children the Lord
brought into our home last year this time, are now living with another family. We believe the Lord was leading us in
this decision just as He did when He asked us to have them come and live with
us.
A and J lived with us until September of this year. We loved them fiercely, and still do. We saw God work in our home while they were
here. We saw our kids show grace
and love when things were really tough, (maybe even better than Dave and I at
times). We saw Him send friends
our way to be His hands and feet when we were in need of physical help and
emotional encouragement. We saw
healing and changes in A and J even though the process is often painful and
slow. And then we saw God leading
us in a different direction than we had originally thought. As more time went by and the longer the
kids were in our home, the more unsettled our home became. It was hard to see, but even more
painful to come to the conclusion that maybe A and J were only supposed to be
with us for a short time, not for a lifetime.
It is hard when the path you thought you were supposed to
take, takes a slow and gradual turn in a new direction, but even in these times
I have seen Him as well. I saw Him
when I saw the Wid Kids run freely and with joy again. I saw Him when I watched the stress lifted off
my husbands shoulders as he didn’t need to act as defender of me any longer. I saw Him again as friends reached out
and wrapped their arms around me as I grieved the loss of these kids and "my" plans. And I have seen Him bring restoration and
peace to our home and to my own soul.
"We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
"We can make our own plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
I had mentioned in last years letter that I am a slow learner. Nothing has changed and I still
am. I am learning that I don’t
control anything. My God and
Savior, who never messes up, is in control of everything. He has been from the very beginning of
time. He never once has failed in
the past and He hasn’t failed in our situation either. A and J are His children. He has a plan for them and I am
learning to trust that His plan was for us to plant seeds. Please join us in praying for
them. Praying that the seeds
planted will have already taken root and that those baby roots will be
nourished. That they will continue
to hear the words, He loves you! You are important. You are not a mistake.
He came to earth as a tiny baby to SAVE YOU, to LOVE YOU, to HEAL YOU,
to make you new in Him.
As I think about the things I am hoping they are hearing, I
have to pause and remind myself to hear those same words about myself. He SAVES ME, LOVES ME, HEALS ME and
makes me new. Although my story is different than I thought it might be, it is still my story... HIS STORY.
I hope you know those truths as well this Christmas and every day of the year.
I hope you know those truths as well this Christmas and every day of the year.
God is Good- by Dustin Kensrue
Even when it seems the answer's no
The promises of God all find their Yes
In Christ who worked the Father's will below
That all who run to him would find their rest
And even when it seems he hides his face
And darkness seems to be our only friend
We look to Christ who suffered in our place
That one day all our suffering would end
God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good
God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good
And even when it seems he pays no mind
We have a guarantee of his great love
In Christ who came and left his crown behind
That one day we would reign with him above
Lord, we believe
But help our unbelief
Lord, we believe
But help our hearts to sing
That you are good, all of the time
All of the time, you are good
You are good all, of the time
Your are good
Lord, you are good
The promises of God all find their Yes
In Christ who worked the Father's will below
That all who run to him would find their rest
And even when it seems he hides his face
And darkness seems to be our only friend
We look to Christ who suffered in our place
That one day all our suffering would end
God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good
God is good, all of the time
All of the time, God is good
And even when it seems he pays no mind
We have a guarantee of his great love
In Christ who came and left his crown behind
That one day we would reign with him above
Lord, we believe
But help our unbelief
Lord, we believe
But help our hearts to sing
That you are good, all of the time
All of the time, you are good
You are good all, of the time
Your are good
Lord, you are good